$100,000!?

A customer just left here. She's tanning for her wedding in a few days. She casually mentions (she's been dying to tell me) that her parents are "spending $100,000 on my wedding." Because, "I'm the baby."

A $100,000 wedding. Even if you have the money...Why? Whatever. It's their money, and they obviously have it. I could open my bar for $100,000.

Why the sexy bride picture? Because it's my blog that's why.

Dude. You Have an AWESOME Job

A lot of the guys say that. I smile, and say "Yep!" And most of the time I do. The customers that come in here are usually really friendly, and happy, and smiley, and very, very cute.

But I can't hit on them. I wouldn't hit on them. That would be really bad for business. Some of them are also very young. Even some of the older ones, the ones in their mid to late 20's, are still mentally 17. At best.

Of the 5,000 plus people that have signed up to tan here in the past five years or so, I can count on maybe one hand the number of women that have come in here that I find attractive. Not just physically, there are a lot of physically attractive women that come in here. But I've long since passed the point where that was the most, or only important thing to me. And I wouldn't hit on them. As much as I hate this business lately, I still need it to pay my bills for a while.

Dance Monkey!

If you're gonna bring a friend in to wait while you tan, please make sure you bring something for him to do.

A book, video game, Sports Illustrated, Hustler or whatever really. By 7 or 8 o'clock I'm tired. I just want the day to end, and I don't want to entertain another person for the next 15 minutes until you're done tanning. Especially someone that's gonna ask me about sports (I can't stand televised sports).

I know that - despite what you're reading here- in general I'm an entertaining, fun guy to be around, and really I am. But by the end of the day I'm worn out from having my "game face" (hey sports!) on all day and I get worn out. And they often take up a lot of space because they're a little embarrassed to be in here, so they do that "cool guy lean" so just leave them at home, or in the car. Just leave the window cracked for them so they get some air.

Uh... Two Feet of Snow Fell Yesterday.

Remember all that snow? Remember the wind gusts of almost 70 mph? Of course you do. It was yesterday. I know you were so desperate to tan that you thought I should be here, sitting, just waiting for you to show up. All of this despite the fact that the snow was coming down two inches an hour at my house too. Some drifts were so deep, in fact, that it was past my waist.

Yeah and we had no phone, no cable, no internet, nothing.

I do appreciate the fact that you at least called to see if we were open first. It just boggles the mind that you would actually think we were open. They shut down the f-cking airport for God's sake.

God you f-cking people suck.

New Business News

Well, I have some news but I don't have time right now. Maybe tomorrow. Sorry.

Take It Easy!

Man. I know they say a firm handshake is important, but this isn't a f-cking contest. Take it easy would ya? Jesus.

Thick Skin or Crazy?

Having owned 3 businesses now, and hoping soon to move onto a fourth I've noticed something about myself. I like the interaction with people, I like being around people, and being the center of attention. Of course I've always sort of been that way, that's probably why I own businesses instead of working for others. But after all the hassles, and the headaches, and the dealing with the 15% of people that make life miserable for everyone, I've started to worry that it's making me a little crazy. Seriously.

I don't know how to fix this. Is this what happens to business owners? Does it evolve over time? Is it from dealing with the public, or having employees? I like people in general, I really do. But I like them even more when they do what I say. It sounds crazy right?

Do all business owners, CEO's, and managers get like this? Do you just get so used to people doing what you tell them that you just expect it from everyone? Or is the pressure, and the stress causing it? You wouldn't think tanning would be all that stressful, and really it isn't. The act of tanning itself isn't stressful, but owning the business can be. I have to find a way to switch this off. There must be a way. Hey I'm even gonna give myself the "Asshole" tag.

Recognizing the problem is the first step right? I don't mean crazy in the sense like I'm seeing things, or hallucinating or anything nutso like that. But I find myself talking to people, like customers for instance, and seeing them only as customers. Objects. Give me your money, tan, and get out. I don't think about them at all once they walk out the door. Not one iota. You might think that sounds normal, but we're a customer-centric kinda business. There are people that have been coming here since the day we opened so I've literally known them for years. How come I don't care about them? I've become so hard towards people now that I have very little, to no empathy for them.

Not far from here, one customer drunkenly walked in front of a train on the way home from a local bar. C.K. was his name. Obviously he was killed. I liked him. We got along well. He was a straight shooter, an ex-boxer, sort of a rough around the edges kind of guy. You knew what you were getting from him. There was no pretense. If he didn't like you you knew it. Likewise if he liked you, you knew it too. In mobster movies he'd be a "stand up guy". And yet I never think about him until I drive past the makeshift shrine they built for him out of flowers near the spot where he was killed. I suppose it's normal in that instance but it seems to go much deeper than that for me. I don't know.

Maybe I just need a long vacation.