New Business News

Well, I have some news but I don't have time right now. Maybe tomorrow. Sorry.

Take It Easy!

Man. I know they say a firm handshake is important, but this isn't a f-cking contest. Take it easy would ya? Jesus.

Thick Skin or Crazy?

Having owned 3 businesses now, and hoping soon to move onto a fourth I've noticed something about myself. I like the interaction with people, I like being around people, and being the center of attention. Of course I've always sort of been that way, that's probably why I own businesses instead of working for others. But after all the hassles, and the headaches, and the dealing with the 15% of people that make life miserable for everyone, I've started to worry that it's making me a little crazy. Seriously.

I don't know how to fix this. Is this what happens to business owners? Does it evolve over time? Is it from dealing with the public, or having employees? I like people in general, I really do. But I like them even more when they do what I say. It sounds crazy right?

Do all business owners, CEO's, and managers get like this? Do you just get so used to people doing what you tell them that you just expect it from everyone? Or is the pressure, and the stress causing it? You wouldn't think tanning would be all that stressful, and really it isn't. The act of tanning itself isn't stressful, but owning the business can be. I have to find a way to switch this off. There must be a way. Hey I'm even gonna give myself the "Asshole" tag.

Recognizing the problem is the first step right? I don't mean crazy in the sense like I'm seeing things, or hallucinating or anything nutso like that. But I find myself talking to people, like customers for instance, and seeing them only as customers. Objects. Give me your money, tan, and get out. I don't think about them at all once they walk out the door. Not one iota. You might think that sounds normal, but we're a customer-centric kinda business. There are people that have been coming here since the day we opened so I've literally known them for years. How come I don't care about them? I've become so hard towards people now that I have very little, to no empathy for them.

Not far from here, one customer drunkenly walked in front of a train on the way home from a local bar. C.K. was his name. Obviously he was killed. I liked him. We got along well. He was a straight shooter, an ex-boxer, sort of a rough around the edges kind of guy. You knew what you were getting from him. There was no pretense. If he didn't like you you knew it. Likewise if he liked you, you knew it too. In mobster movies he'd be a "stand up guy". And yet I never think about him until I drive past the makeshift shrine they built for him out of flowers near the spot where he was killed. I suppose it's normal in that instance but it seems to go much deeper than that for me. I don't know.

Maybe I just need a long vacation.

No More Politics.

No more. I can't talk about them anymore, I can't read about them anymore, I don't wanna debate people anymore, I just can't. At the risk of sounding crazy, I don't care enough about most people to actually give a sh*t what they think. About much of anything to be exact.

Maybe?

One of the semi-regulars came in today, and brought who I thought was her father. It turns out it was her mothers boyfriend. But whatever. They have money. A lot of money. She (the customer) is going to med school, and she might be staying in "one of their houses in Florida", just to give you an idea.

So one thing leads to another, and the mother's boyfriend asks if we're for sale. How the hell did he know? I've been trying to be careful who I mention this to because I don't want to freak out the customers.

Since you don't really know me I can say without modesty that it's been my belief, the last year and a half or so, that without me, this place would cease to exist. All things being equal, I'm the reason people come here. It's hard to explain. But that's why I've really only mentioned my plans to a very select few. The few people I would actually like to continue being friends with after the inevitable. Oh I may have said..."all businesses are for sale (they always are)", or..."for the right money I'd walk." that sort of thing, but I just assumed that's what people understood about business. It happens all the time. "Under New Management!" You've seen the signs right?

They tried to buy a hair salon but that fell through or something, so they've been looking for something else. Apparently the daughter is trying to talk them into buying the place. She just wants to tan for free, but whatever works I say.

And I made yet another phone call this morning to the landlord of the building I'd like to lease for the bar. It's getting hard to keep all this straight. I hope I'm making the right decisions.

Unfortunately you never know until it's too late.

Wanna Spray Tan Appointment?

Cool, what time? 7:30? Yeah that'll be a good time actually, the girl is available. But guess what moron? I gotta pay that girl that made a special trip in just to spray you. If you're gonna make an appointment, at least cancel it so I'm not out any money for absolutely no reason. This is a business, and I have more expenses than you can imagine. Having to pay someone for work that won't get done, and then actually not getting paid for that same non-existent work hurts.

Wanna know how it feels? Crumple up a $10 dollar bill and throw it into a sewer. It's exactly the same as you not showing up for an appointment. But don't worry about it, because I'm a millionaire right?

Why the change?

Remember this lady? She's back. And she's different. Oh she's still smokin' hot physically, but now she's being nice. Really nice. Almost friendly. Maybe I was being unfair? Maybe I just didn't know her. Maybe she's on medication now. Or maybe she wants something. I'm always suspicious of someone that does such a massive turn around.

She can't want something from me I have no money, so I'm not her type. Maybe she wants to buy the salon? She did work for one of the big chains. I doubt it though. That's just wishful thinking on my part.

A New Business?

For all the talk of July 1st, which may, or may not happen at this point, I have decided what I want to do. Own a bar. I know, I know, that's probably much worse than what I'm doing now. Much worse. But it's what I want. It's something I've wanted to do for a very long time. And despite what probably comes across as my grumpiness with the general public, I actually do like people. And it's something people seem to see me doing. And I feel like this salon is just a stepping stone toward that.

When I leave here today, I'm actually going to call about an empty location for it. We'll see. This is all very preliminary, and may not even be possible. It's going to be very expensive and I would have to get no less than $100,000 for the salon, but that's a long shot. Unfortunately that's money I would need. I've been working on this for a while now and I would like the space to be around 5000 square feet. That would be ideal. I called about a space a week ago, but that one was 10,000 square feet. That's big. Much to big. The entire mall my salon is currently in is probably 10,000 square feet. So at even just 12 a suare foot a space that size would be $12,000 a month. That's a lot of beer.

Anyway I'll call today and see what they say. July is just around the corner so it's time to get moving on this.

Mr. Szczzptzcaysz?

Hi Euro-Guy how are you? I'm sorry what was your last name again? You know, pronouncing it in your native language only makes matters worse. I'm actually pretty good at remembering names, numbers, or whatever you want.

I can remember an 18 digit credit card number, including the expiration date, and "v-code." Seriously.

But you were only here once before, and it was really busy, so sometimes it doesn't get "imprinted" on my brain. I know it must be aggravating for you to be asked "huh?" every time you say your name, but in my defense, it has, like, 13 consonants in a row, and two of them are z's with a bunch of c's thrown in there for good measure, so cut me a little slack.

And you have an accent. One that's pretty thick, and I don't actually speak Bulgarian, because I didn't think I'd ever have to in the Good Ol' US of A. So be patient with me. I know I'm just a stupid American, but people used to change their name to Smith, or Jones when they hit Ellis Island for a reason.

I Just Ordered Something Online...

Wow that's really great. I'm glad you saved 10 whole dollars, but guess what dumb ass? We only sell two things here. Tans, and lotion. And when you tell me you ordered something online, as opposed to buying it here, we don't get to stay in business very long and it really pisses me off.

How does this sound? Next time you buy a lotion online, try tanning online too.

Oh, and by the way. That lotion you bought at such a great price? Yeah it isn't manufactured anymore. Even I can't get it, that's why we no longer carry it. So good luck with whatever is in that bottle. I hope that whatever sh-t the Filipinos had laying around and pumped into that bottle doesn't make you break out in hives, or whatever God awful skin rash it might give you.

On second thought, that cheap sh-t wreaks havoc on our acrylics, and those things get real expensive for me real fast, so I hope you do get Ebola or something from it. And when we go out of business because you wanted to save $10, you can take your online lotion, and go spend $28 on a single session at Big Chain Salon.

Asshole.