I Just Ordered Something Online...

Wow that's really great. I'm glad you saved 10 whole dollars, but guess what dumb ass? We only sell two things here. Tans, and lotion. And when you tell me you ordered something online, as opposed to buying it here, we don't get to stay in business very long and it really pisses me off.

How does this sound? Next time you buy a lotion online, try tanning online too.

Oh, and by the way. That lotion you bought at such a great price? Yeah it isn't manufactured anymore. Even I can't get it, that's why we no longer carry it. So good luck with whatever is in that bottle. I hope that whatever sh-t the Filipinos had laying around and pumped into that bottle doesn't make you break out in hives, or whatever God awful skin rash it might give you.

On second thought, that cheap sh-t wreaks havoc on our acrylics, and those things get real expensive for me real fast, so I hope you do get Ebola or something from it. And when we go out of business because you wanted to save $10, you can take your online lotion, and go spend $28 on a single session at Big Chain Salon.

Asshole.

Who Do You Think You Are?!

You know, you seemed like a nice kid. You seemed sweet enough, and always friendly. But what the fuck? You come in here SCREAMING at my girls because you don't wanna pay the tax?! On the one day I'm not here too. Imagine that. What is your problem? Are you mentally defective or something? This shouldn't have been news to you as being 15 years old, I'm sure "Jersey Shore" is the height of culture to you. And your hero Snookie is all up in arms over this.

I have to assume the way you were behaving means one of three things.

1. You are young, and think that's the way to get businesses to listen to you (it is not).

2. You are young, and you were trying to impress that piece of shit wigger boyfriend of yours. I am sure he thought you were cool.

3. You are mentally unbalanced, and might fly off the handle and assault me, a customer, or one of the employees for even the most minor misunderstanding.

I'm just gonna be safe and go with number 3 to keep me from getting involved in your eventual mental breakdown.

When you demanded a full refund at the top of your lungs and pronounced that "I'm going to Big Chain Salon", I figured there's really no better place for you because no one comes in here and behaves like that. I didn't invest almost $200,000 dollars, and the last five years of my life to be screamed at by some half witted 15 year old.

Have a nice life.

And when you go to "Big Chain Salon"? Tell them I said hi.

Yeah. It Wasn't My Idea...

...and I don't like it either. I've never had a new federal law affect me personally, or so directly until now. But the guy you should send your complaints to is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, not here. This was his bright idea.

It is what it is. And really it's only 10%. As much as it bugs me, it added a whole, whopping dollar to our single session tans. I did my best to keep it inexpensive, and even tried to eat the tax myself so you wouldn't have to pay it. But let's try this mathematically shall we?

To you it's an extra $1. But for me you have to multiply that by 50-80 times on an average day. And that's not including any spray tans, or unlimited months that we sell which could be anywhere from an additional $2, to and extra $6 each. So that can be $60-$150 a day. Every day. I don't know how much money you cheapskates think we bring in here, but that's too much for me to pay.

And you know what really bugs me the most about all of this? I spent at least two months warning everyone that this was gonna happen. I used our website, or Facebook page - Hell, I even had a sign posted in the salon. No one bothered to notice. Frankly a purple alligator could be sleeping in most people's beds and they wouldn't notice, so I guess I don't blame you really.

No, the thing that irritates me the most is that no matter how many times I said this, or how many signs I put up, you decided I was lying, or joking, or just wanted to raise the price, and you didn't listen. But that fat, troll like retard "Snooki" mentions it one time, and it's like Moses preaching you the Gospel. I'm afraid the tax is probably here to stay. And someone has to pay it. Wanna guess who that's gonna be? That's right. You.