So why are you here at five minutes to 10, and why do you want to tan for 20 minutes? This isn't the first time you've done this. And I know you're self employed and work out of your house so it's not like you were running late because you were rescuing puppies, and kitties from burning buildings. This is what makes you feel like a man? Trying to push around small business owners?
Because we're an independent place (read: small) and I like to please customers, I think some people perceive this as some kind of weakness. Like I'm so desperate for customers, and your $6 or we might go out of business? Or that because you're the customer, you're always right? I've allowed this to happen a couple of times because that's what I do. Put your thumb and index fingers together. Now separate them by about 1/8th of an inch. You see that space? That's exactly how close you are to being banned from here. And then we'll see how many times you pull that crap at "BIG TANNING CHAIN". Believe me if you show up to tan ten minutes before they close, that Blonde Eurotrash girl will start your bed. But she'll also kill it from the front desk at 9:59:59, and you'll be lucky to get out the door with your shirt on before you're locked in.
And no for the last time. We don't have "freebie lotion samples", and yes I had to raise the price of tans by a whole $1. You see the electric company wants their money every month like clockwork. And all those lotions you see on the shelf behind me? Yeah I had to pay for those. I'm well aware of the fact that I didn't pay $46 for that $46 bottle of lotion. I paid less. A lot less. But you see, that's how we stay in business, and that's how I pay my mortgage. If I pay a dollar for something, and then sell it to you for a dollar where is the incentive for me? I guess I don't blame you for asking, but by the third time it gets insulting, and makes you look like a cheap asshole.
Of course you're here five minutes before we close because you know you're such an awesome customer. Surprise ladies, and gentleman you might think you're a good customer, but you aren't. Wanna know what makes someone a good customer? THEY SPEND LOTS OF MONEY. That's all there is too it. If you're gonna drop a couple o' hundred a month in here every month, I'll let you slap me in the mouth on the way out everyday. But $3 or $4 every five or six days doesn't get you special treatment.
Who gets special treatment? The guy who just paid $3 to tan? Or the girl that bought eye wear, a $60 lotion, and three spray tans last month plus has been paying for tanning every month out of the last six? Take a guess, go ahead I'll sit and wait.
Right! The second one!
Save your sanctimony. The customer isn't always right. Some people are just begging to get kicked in the balls. In fact you'll be lucky if I ban you instead of doing just that.
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