This CD Player Doesn't Work!

Yeah I know. One of you broke it. Some people can't even comprehend the massive technological ability required to operate a radio/CD player, and then once you walk in the door you people turn into a bunch of apes on roller-skates. All day long I hear stuff crashing, and bangin' around in those little rooms, and  nervously I go in there after you left because I'm terrified at what else you managed to break during the 10 whole minutes you were in there unsupervised.

Kinda like the shelves. You know the ones. The ones that are attached to the wall using massive three inch screws drilled directly into the steel wall stud. Yeah those. How you've managed to damage those is beyond me. Especially considering it's just a f-cking shelf. What were you doing in there between the time you got undressed, tanned, and redressed that allowed you to damage that?

It just sits there. It doesn't move. You don't have to "dodge it". It'll never run out in front of you. It's a shelf on a wall. Is this the reason so many people have "dings" on the side of their brand new car? Because some thoughtless idiot wasn't thinking? I bet you're the ones that break my shelves.